Mean Girls (The Movie Musical)

First there was Mean Girls (the original). It features iconic quotable lines that are regularly referenced in pop culture and normal conversation, star making performances and surprising scenes that leave audiences stunned (bus), cringing (three-way phone call) or laughing out loud (Glen Coco).

Then there was Mean Girls (the musical). Despite my firm belief that most things in this world are made better by throwing in a musical number, Mean Girls is the exception to this rule. I saw Mean Girls (the musical) many years ago when it was in previews in Washington, DC. It has a raunchy sense of humor and jokes that differ from the original, in both good and bad ways. It has puzzling storytelling decisions that make it clear that no one could quite agree on the best way to translate this story from film to stage. It has two great songs (Revenge Party, World Burn), some okay songs (Where Do You Belong, I’d Rather Be Me) and many bad songs (Stupid with Love, What’s Wrong with Me?, Stop).

Now there is Mean Girls (the movie musical). Normally I pride this newsletter on being a place where I put forward only the best pop culture recommendations. So let me be clear, Mean Girls (the movie musical) is very, very bad. But I need an outlet to share my frustration! Today’s newsletter acts as my personal burn book. I’m here to break down the good, the bad and the (f)ugly from this 2024 film:

The Cast | About twenty minutes into Mean Girls (the movie musical), I was longing for the star power of Lindsay Lohan circa 2004. While Cady acts as the narrator and protagonist of Mean Girls (the original), Rachel McAdams gets to have the most fun with her role, which is why it’s easy to forget how much Lindsay Lohan’s charm does to make the movie work. While Reneé Rapp shines with a new take on Regina George, Angourie Rice simply does not make a splash on screen as Cady. It’s not completely her fault! Mean Girls (the musical) takes Cady out of the narrator role and calls on Janis, with assistance from Damian, to act as the storyteller. Mean Girls (the movie musical) attempts to put Cady towards the center again, while still leaning on Janis and Damian to occasionally narrate and give random, Jim Halpert-style looks to camera and simultaneously elevating Reneé Rapp. It’s a mess. Speaking of miscast parts… Christopher Briney should not be playing Aaron. While he can hold his own as a broody heartthrob on The Summer I Turned Pretty, he’s not meant to be a high school golden boy that has all the girls in a tizzy. Making the leap from Amazon Prime to the big screen isn’t for everyone. On a positive note, Auliʻi Cravalho (Janis), Jaquel Spivey (Damian), Avantika (Karen) and Bebe Wood (Gretchen) all do their best to push bast the bad direction and lackluster script updates to deliver solid performances in their respective roles.

The Script | Comedy is all about the element of surprise. If you know a joke is coming, and especially if you know that joke word for word, it’s just not going to be as funny. Mean Girls (the original) is a very quotable movie, which is why I was surprised to find full chunks of dialogue and the majority of the new movie’s jokes completely lifted from the original, leading me and my friends to posit that Tina Fey genuinely might not realize how well people know the source material. Mean Girls (the musical) made efforts to update its writing. Mean Girls (the movie musical) does not. The jokes that earned the most laughs in my movie theater were the new, unexpected moments. But it’s not all bad! Mean Girls (the movie musical) took this opportunity to remove some problematic storylines from its script, put forward a new take on the conflict between Janis and Regina and refine the way it addresses queer characters across the board.

The Technology | The TikTok and video storytelling choices in Mean Girls (the movie musical) feel dated the minute you leave the theater. There’s a difference between using the technology of today to tell a story and using it to scream “We’re relevant! We know how high schoolers act in 2024!” Let’s examine a classic, but now outdated, scene from Mean Girls (the original). Regina calls Cady and talks to her about having a crush on Aaron. Later in the scene Regina asks Cady if she’s mad at Gretchen for revealing her secret and goads her into saying something mean. When Cady does, Regina reveals that Gretchen has been on the line the whole time. Three-way calls! Landlines! Obviously this scene isn’t relevant technology and communication wise today, but the behaviors driving the momentum of the scene are still true. Friends still blab secrets and talk behind each other’s backs. The mediums are just different. A way to update this would be replacing a phone call attack with text messages or screenshots to reveal a betrayal. If Mean Girls (the movie musical) had updated communication in this way, it would feel fresh. But instead the movie leans on teens making TikToks and video content to transition scenes in a way that feels forced and doesn’t drive the narrative forward.

The Musical | Every step of the way, Mean Girls (the movie musical) seems to feel the need to apologize for being a musical. I groaned out loud when an action was taken to “explain” why music is playing in a scene (i.e. a character pressing buttons on a synth machine to cue up a song). The meta joke one character makes about being mad at another character for being too slow on the choreography during Revenge Party? Hate that. The new arrangements zap the energy out of some of the songs, so much so that it feels like it’s being done to tiptoe past the impact of theatrical moments musical numbers can deliver. The only reason this movie is being made is because it’s a musical. Embrace it! Or don’t make the movie. Also please fix the sound mixing.

The Direction | The second the credits rolled and I saw that this movie had two people directing it, everything made sense. The tone and artistic choices of Mean Girls (the movie musical) are wildly disjointed. Case in point: Revenge Party. My personal favorite song and sequence from Mean Girls (the musical) was absolutely destroyed in its translation to the big screen. This song is used to transition between Regina and Aaron kissing at the Halloween Party and Cady getting on board with Janis and Damian’s plan to ruin Regina’s life. The song then telegraphs the various acts of revenge they enact on Regina. It moves quickly, switching between scenes to move the story along and under it all is the pounding sound of the ensemble obsessed with Regina (“What's Regina doing? / What’s Regina wearing? / Is she dating Aaron? / Regina, Regina / She has everything / She gets everything / Regina, Regina, Regina”). In the movie musical, these core elements are all there. The song has the same function and lyrics, but the way it transitions between scenes shot in completely different styles is jarring. You go from normal scenes in high school to dream-like scenes where everyone is wearing bright colors and throwing confetti to videos going viral to one truly insane shot that is completely zoomed in on Cady’s head as she walks up to order candy canes. It’s not easy to direct a movie musical. The directors are at an added disadvantage here because Mean Girls (the musical) doesn’t have the best songs or book to begin with, but a consistent approach to the material could have helped elevate these elements in movie form. Instead the choices made only draw more attention to the fact that Mean Girls (the musical) and Mean Girls (the movie musical) can never quite settle on what they want to say and why they’re around in the first place.